I'm reading a book called Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets. I want to learn more about prayer, because I feel like a prayer mouse...certainly no prayer warrior. And I want to become a warrior.
Not a crazed bible-thumping, cliche spurting neurotic...I just want to know HOW to pray more effectively.
And whenever I heard the term "intercessory prayer groups/people"...I thought of them as "bible-thumping, cliche spurtic neurotics". I'm sorry...I certainly do NOT mean to be disrespectful. Not in the least! This is just me being honest to myself. I just never UNDERSTOOD what intercessory prayer really was!
As I have been reading this book...I can't put it down. I hate having to stop. I'm learning so much, and it is stretching me and testing me and, well, lets say it like it is...convicting me. In a GOOD way! Not condemning me...not shunning me for my lack of prayer life or strength...just convicting me in the sense that there is SO much to be learned!!
Today I texted a friend. That text simply said "Lacking hope today..."
I was. I fight with that. I fight with optimism and pessimism. I struggle with days of stength of a lion and days of the weakness of a fly.
Today felt more a struggle for me because my mind started to over-power the truth that no matter what...God loves me. No matter what may lay ahead...He will carry me through. My choice is to allow Him to love me and carry me, or for me to try to "take over" and manage it on my own.
This afternoon I was walking on my treadmill and reading (yes, I multitask that way from time to time...which tells you how "hard" my "workout" really was!) and at the end of one chapter a sentence simply said:
"DENY UNBELIEF ACCESS. YOU CAN DO IT!"
(Yes, I'm adding the bold, italic larger font!)
And that was the loving smack on the back of the head that I needed to hear from God today.
Deny unbelief access! My mind is powerful in wanting to "take over". My mind is weak to the battle at times. My mind creates scenarios and situations that have not (and may never) come to pass. But because of that simple allowance of letting unbelief enter my mind...I lose. I lose the battle. And I start to crumble. And I don't like it...and I don't want it. Not now. Not ever.
We will always have our less than perfect days. We will always feel a degree of weakness. Of course the enemy wants us to hear the whispers of unbelief. But we can slam the door on it. We CAN choose to ignore the lies. It's not always easy. I'll never say it is. But we NEED to deny that unbelief. We NEED to hold firm to the promises of God, that no matter what...good or bad, joyful or painful, planned as we desired or NOT planned as we desired...God WILL give us the comfort, strength and courage to move forward.
Today I needed a smack...and I got it. And I'm glad!