Joy in struggle

It has been one of "those" days.  One where every single pain, worry, struggle and frustration hits all at once.  One of those days where I struggle to keep the smile on my face and the tears out of my eyes.  One of those days where I can feel the adrenalin of worry and self condemnation coursing through my veins...literally.  One of those days where the lies of the enemy are ringing loud and clear...though I know they are just that...lies. 

But there is always joy in "those" days.  His name is Evan.  And he is my earthly angel, my living son.  He is my joy, my heart, my breath, my everything.  He reminds me to fight through the hard days.  He reminds me to fight for the light in the darkness.  He is my living reminder that miracles can and do happen. 

He reminds me to be silly.  To cry if I need to, but to wipe my tears and giggle along side him.  He reminds me to focus on the simple things in each day.  I new animal at the zoo, a plane in the sky, a hotair balloon floating by, a fly tickling his neck...and the joy of blue bubble gum ice cream dripping all over his face.

Yes, the struggles, the pains, the reality of life remain...but they silence for a while.  They become more of a dull grind on my mind instead of the jack-hammer that rattles my soul from time to time when the harsh facts of areas of our journey just can't end, but don't get easier.

I am beyond grateful for this little boy who reminds me of so much I need to remember.  I am beyond blessed for the honor of parenting this little wonder.  Of watching him growing in to such a BOY!  SO grateful for the silliness of the simple things in life.  So beyond grateful for the reminder that no matter how our journey ends...I have more than I ever dreamed of!  And I get to see his smile every morning when he wakes up, and feel his arms wrap around my neck, and hear him say "I love you mommy!"

The journey can be so rough and dark at times.  Today started in that direction.

But my sweet boy brought back the joy of today, and all that I have!

I am so grateful, and so truly in love with our son! 

My heart and soul!

These amazing collage photos were done by our AWESOME photographer, Lisa Landrie, who put on a mini photo shoot called "Mother's of May".  These photo shoots were done on a donation basis, and ALL proceeds were donated to the Canadian Cancer Society.

After the losses we have been through, and through personal loss that Lisa experienced in her own family, this photo shoot and this fundraiser was VERY special to my heart, and I was so happy to learn of what Lisa was doing. 

Evan and I had a GREAT time!!!