I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A day no parent should endure...

This morning there is a couple who are facing their baby daughter's funeral and burial. 
This sweet little girl was a surviving twin, to her predeceased brother.
This precious angel was born with severe heart defects, and she underwent surgery, and fought a brave fight to heal, but sadly she did not survive.

Hearing that news was agonizing.

And knowing that this moment these sweet parents and their family gather to celebrate her precious little life...it causes every single fiber in me to ache and wheep for them.

Knowing this day for them...it brings me back three years ago.  The day of Zac's funeral and then his burial.

Walking in to the church.  I still don't know how my feet carried me in.  Obviously God was in my shoes that day, because all I wanted to do was run.
Walking down the aisle to the front pew with everyones eyes on us...I just wanted to scream "please don't forget my son!"
Facing Zac's tiny white casket.  It still feels like a sick nightmare.

The service was beautiful.  Brett did a precious powerpoint presentation of photos and music.  The pastor read my tribute and thanks.  But in honesty...so much is a blur.
What I do remember is last moment leaning over to Brett telling him "I want to help you carry Zac out".  Brett was going to solely carry out Zac's casket, but in that last moment...I knew I had to be the one on the other side carrying out our son one last time.  And as much as that moment tore me apart, I am so glad that I did it.

Again, only by the strength that God can supernaturally provide. 

The burial...another "this really isn't happening" moment.  That tiny hole.  The cold weather around us.  I was supposed to be rocking my baby boy with his brother in a warm room...not standing by a grave site.

Yet, God provided the strength in that moment as we watched our son's casket, and then drove away.

The days after.  Relearning life.  Even now...I don't know how I do it. 
The joy of Evan allows me to breathe and to live.
The pain of losing Zac will never fully be gone.

The thought of what I would have done had Evan not survived?  I can't even begin to pretend to imagine.  Even going through the loss of Zac...I can't pretend to say I could comprehend what this precious couple are going  through as they grieve the loss of both of their babies.
It's not how life should be.  It isn't.

No parent should ever have to endure this type of pain.  No parent should be facing their child's casket instead of bassinet.  And yet, many of us parents must face this brutal loss and pain.

So today, as this couple endure the pain of their daughter's funeral and burial...can you please take the time to cover them with special prayers!  Because they are going to need every. single. one of them!

1 comment:

  1. I've been praying for them. Don't really know her...but know, as you do, what devastation they are feeling is like...and my heart hurts for them in such a terrible, strong way.
    So heartbreaking.