I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My brave lil` man!

So yesterday was Evan's first visit at the dentist! 
Lets just say he was FAR more brave than I am when I have to go!!
But I guess that's where ignorance is bliss, right? 
And I'm hoping that he never has to encounter the parts of the dentist that make you want to gag every time you have to go! :)
He was so good!! 
Crawled right up in to that chair, laid back, and did as he was asked.
And it helps that each dental chair has a TV above it to help take away the anxiety!
The girl and the dental therapist were wonderful with him.  Patient, calm, friendly, and explained everything to him.
He rocked it!
And no cavities!  So that was great!
Watching him in that chair made me see it even more.
My baby is growing up so quickly.
Yesterday I caught myself thinking of the first time I ever took Evan for a walk in his stroller.
And I won't lie...I got teary-eyed.
I remember the pride I felt knowing that I was pushing MY child in the stroller.
And yes, the ache of the sorrow of it not being the double stroller we had originally purchased for Zac and Evan before Zac passed away...that was my silent inner tears as I walked Evan around the block.
But I still remember the feeling of...almost shock, that I was finally walking my own child.
And I found myself smiling at the memory.
Watching Evan growing up so quickly...it makes me want to just stop moments so that I can freeze-frame them and just hold on to those moments a while longer.
It makes me want to shoot myself back in time for just a moment so I can hold that tiny little baby he once was, and hear the little cooing noises he would make. 
But life is filled with new adventures. 
He is all boy.  Find a rock...well naturally, it must be thrown.  Find a puddle...well why WOULDN'T you jump in it?  Find a bug...well of course you have to touch it.
This little boy of ours...what a treasure.
Last night we were snuggled in bed, both hacking away.  Evan has been under the weather for a while now and still fighting a cough.  I have been without much of a voice for 5 days now, and hacking along side Evan.  So the two of us are quite the pair. 
Every night I tell Evan how proud I am of the boy he is becoming.  And he started to talk to me about when he was a baby (which is hilarious to listen to his stories), and then I told him how lucky I am to have such precious boys in my life.  That he and his brother make my heart so happy.  And he started to tell me about how Zac is a baby, and he holds him "just like this, mommy".  And then he said "but he is a big boy in heaven like me!" 
And precious that he speaks of his brother, and that they will always be a part of each other.
Though life isn't as I had once imagined it would be...it is still a blessed life.

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