My last fall of...

I've been realizing more and more...life is moving way too fast for my liking!

Today my nephew starts grade 2!  Tomorrow my niece begins kindergarten!

And next fall...my own son will begin preschool.

And it gives me a lump in my throat.  I can't believe it.  One more year before my life changes again. 
And the little boy I've been waiting for all my life will begin to experience a life of independence...more than he has already.  It changes...and though I am so proud of him, and know he will do wonderful...my heart aches at the idea of not having my little man with me every. single. day.  All day.  Every day.

It's just a very wierd concept for me.  A tough one.  It seems wierd to me to have a 4 year old (next year) in school, even if it is for short periods.  He still feels like my baby! 
I haven't had enough time with him all to myself.  And I don't want to share him yet!

So, I am determined to make the most of this year!!  More than ever! 

This isn't a depressing sob story kind of post...just a big realization for me and a bit of a teary moment.

When my nephew started kindergarten, I cried.  I did! 

Time goes so fast, and I can't imagine wasting a moment of it on things that just don't matter in the big scheme of things. 

I've been granted this miracle.  This precious little boy who fought so hard along side his brother. 
I am so proud of the strength of my little miracles.  And I know Zac will be cheering Evan on as he begins school without him by his side.  Maybe that is part of the sadness for me.  I know I should be preparing my two sons.  I know I should be feeling more secure and sure of this day next year because they should have been facing this big day together.  Giving each other strength, courage and assurance.
I should have been preparing double the school supplies, packing two back packs and dressing my two lil' men.

I guess that will always be a part of big milestones, just as it is a part of every day.

But I know that Evan will do amazing. 

So, instead of stressing and obsessing about things to come in another YEAR...I will slow down, embrace each of these days we are granted, and have FUN FUN FUN!