I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My heart...

Whenever I see rays shining all around Evan...I can't help but believe Zac is all around him!

Fun in the sun...and leaves

How high can I throw!

My heart and soul!

This little boy is my everything.  He brings so much laughter, love and joy to my heart.  LOOK AT HIM!!!  Who wouldn't feel so very blessed. 
No matter the heart ache along the way, I am in love.
No matter how much I wish Zac, Ethan, Jack and Whisper were here in these pictures...I picture them with us every day.  They are forever with me, and with us.  And one day...we WILL all be together.
No matter how I pictured life...my life is blessed.
Every single one of my babies is a blessing to my life, and I can not be sad, or regretful, because had we not done all we could to try, I wouldn't even have them.
True...it did not all turn out the way I had "planned" or dreamed...but I am still truly thankful for whatever time I had together with each of my babies.
I would have liked their days to each far out do mine...and that didn't happen.  But our days WILL join together one day, and for that I am humbled.
Every day I look at Evan and stare at him in wonder.  This little person who has changed my life and who I am.  And I am thankful to journey through life with his hand in mine.
Should God's plan be that Evan is our only living child...I will thank Him.  Every day.  For every moment I have with Evan.
Do I pray we may still have the hope of Evan being a big brother?  Of course.  My son was never meant to grow up alone (in my mind).  Zac was always a part of life with him, and always will be.  And no child would "replace" Zac.  But I still dream of Evan getting to be a big brother.
Yet, if it's not meant to be that way, then we will be okay.
I will be okay!
Oh how I love each and every one of our babies. 

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