I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

2 year milestones...celebrations and good byes...

March 6, 2009...our precious little boys entered this world, albeit far too soon.

March 6, 2011...we celebrated Evan's 2nd birthday with friends and family.  What a joyful day it was to watch him!  The morning began with Brett, Evan and I going to the cemetery to bring Zac a balloon, and to say Happy Birthday and blow some kisses to our angel.
The day before, special friends came to spend the night with us, and how wonderful to have them stay!!  Evan's and his NICU sweetie had fun playing...and how precious to watch these two knowing how far they have come!!
The day of the party the house was filled with laughter and food and fun.  Evan was WAY over stimulated and off the walls with sugar by the end of the night.

I made two cakes this year.  One specially for Evan...a hockey jersey with a hockey stick and puck with "2" in the center of it all.  And one specially for Zac...decorated in blue icing for the sky and then angel wings and halo around a heart made out of fondant, and below fondant with the scripture used on Zac's grave plaque "I thank my God every time I remember you.  Phil 1:3"
How wonderful it felt to have cakes for BOTH my sons!!!!  It meant so much to me to make those cakes, and to celebrate both our sons!

Now, March 9, 2009...that morning we spent our first time holding our sweet Zac...also preparing for his final breath.  That moment came as I held him skin to skin on my chest...and I knew he had left us from this earth.  How does a parent ever come to terms with a moment like that?  Yes, I know I have the promise of heaven...but it does not make the emotions on earth less painful.  It hurts.  It always will.

March 9, 2011...this morning Evan and I went out to the cemetery with my mom, sister-in-law, nephew and niece.  We each released a balloon to the sky for Zac.  It took everything in me not to break down in front of the kids...but I didn't want them to see that.  I have saved it for private moments like now, while I am alone.

Who knew that three days could hold such emotion of such joy and such sorrow.

We celebrate our sons!  They are both heros in our eyes. 
And both have celebrated birth days in unique ways.

My heart overflows with love for our sons, and for all our children in heaven.  I miss them all...but we will be together again.

"God be with you till we meet again..."



  1. What a beautiful way to celebrate both boys' lifes!! Hugs

  2. Heather....been thinking about you last week and this...I know it just never gets easier...just more the 'norm' you get used to, huh? It shouldn't be like that and I'm sorry all of your children aren't with you right now...
    Lots of love!

  3. I have been thinking about you a whole lot too hon, just haven't had any time to go online before now to tell you so. Always celebrating BOTH Zac's and Evan's lives, yet joining your heart in that bittersweet sorrow that your boys are temporarily apart.♥♥