I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Monday, July 6, 2009

Where oh where has time gone?! hee hee hee

"Pimp my ride" onesie.
At the Forestry Farm with my nephew Finley at his 4th b-day! That's his friend beside him! She wanted to be in the picture too! Evan totally oblivious to what was going on!
My bright-eyed boy!!
Smiles for everyone!!!!
This was the cake top from my church shower. The booties signify Evan...the boxing gloves signify Zac...he had to be a part of the night too! Thank you Nadia for such a perfect design! It was more than I expected!!
Oh my...my time has become so very limited these days! Evan is having more awake time during the day which means less time for me...which is fine by me! But I haven't been able to update the blog, or journal as much...or brush my teeth for that matter! hee hee hee.
So, here are some updates. Last week we had 2 baby showers. One was at our church. It was really really nice! My mom decorated and my inlaws helped with the food. My sister in law did games. Evan got LOTS of nice stuff!!! I'm excited for him to be able to use some of the things he got. Not that I'm wishing him to grow up quickly...but it will be fun when the time comes.
I was especially touched by the way people helped to honor Zac and allow my little fighter boy to be a part of this night. I had asked that if people felt led that they would donate a preemie sleeper in memory of Zac that I will be taking to the NICU. There were so many sleepers, and it warmed my heart...and I felt Zac smiling down.
It was really hard for me to have the shower at first because it hurt so much not to be walking in with BOTH my boys. But knowing how loved Zac was through each of these ladies prayers helped me. And to see the excitement they had to see little Evan was wonderful. Thank you to each and every one of you precious women who were able to attend, and I'm sorry that some were unable to attend, but I'm sure we will see you soon!
The following night I had a shower by my work people. It was at one of the doctor's houses and it was so nice and laid back. It was good to see the girls who were able to make it. And for those of you who sacrificed seeing Evan because you were under the weather...I thank you for understanding that Evan is still in a fragile zone for illness and that you all cared enough for this precious little bean not to come. I was sad that I couldn't see all of you, but we'll stop by the office soon! The gifts were wonderful, and again thank you to those who donated sleepers, and a huge thank you to the doctors for the donation to the NICU! That was unexpected, and touched my heart deeply! I know the NICU will be touched too!
The week had been a busy one for Evan, so it was nice to have the weekend to recuperate. This week is semi busy too. Today Evan has an appointment with the Alvin Buckwold Development Program. All preemies go through this progam to be monitored for developmental tracking. Today he will be seen by an Occupational Therapist, Physiotherapist and Speech Pathologist.
Then on Wednesday we see one of the NICU neonatologists for a follow up. It will be fun to see how they think he is doing. WE think he is doing REALLY well!! Strong little guy!!
I weighed Evan on Friday and he is 8 POUNDS 3.5 OUNCES!!!! YAAAAAAAA, we've passed the 8 pound mark now!! And outgrowing outfits! In a way it is sad to know I have to start packing up his smaller sleepers! don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED that he is growing and gaining...that is the ultimate goal...but there is this strange "sadness". But it's fun too because that means more shopping trips!! I love searching out good deals!
On Saturday we went to the Forestry Farm. It was my nephew's 4th birthday. Brett and I took Evan through the animals. I couldn't stop thinking about next summer and how Evan will be starting to really notice things and just to watch his expression as he sees all these animals! I totally want to take him to the Calgary Zoo!!
But while we were walking through the park we watched a dad with his two children...one in a wheelchair. I believe the child had Cerebral Palsy. It broke my heart, and I wondered what life would have been like had Zac survived. Would he have suffered? Would he only have been partially aware of the world around him? Yet a piece of me felt selfish and couldn't stop thinking that at least we would have had him with us, no matter how difficult it would have been.
Then as we continued on our walk through the park I watched a mom with her three boys...two being twin boys. Again, my heart ached for what has been taken away from us. I found myself clinging to Evan a little more.
All in all the day was a lot of fun, and Evan did great! Lots of fresh air. He slept lots yesterday! I think he takes after his mom! Too much fresh air makes me very sleepy!!
OK, Evan has now awoken. He has been in his swing beside me so I've been typing like a crazy person in hopes to get this update done!! Fortunately he is remaining patient and happy in his swing...but that could change mighty fast :)
I suppose I should bring this to a close. I will try to update more frequently. I will update after Wednesdays appointment and that way I can fill everyone in on todays appointment and Wednesdays all at once.


  1. Heather,
    I love the shower cake! What a beautiful way to remember your small fighter! And I totally understand how you felt when you saw the boy in the wheelchair and the twin boys! I have found myself being selfish and just wanting my Zach here with me too! And wondering what life would be with all my babies... Praying for you!

  2. Heather,
    I love the cake! It's too cute and awesome to have something on it for both Evan and Zac. I often have trouble myself with twins since we lost Isaac and Isaiah...I get what you mean. I would want my sons here either way, but no mom wants her babies to suffer but no mom wants to live without her babies either! I run into twins 4/5 trips outside my home. There are sets of them at my church, one set the same age as Isaac and Isaiah. It's tough sometimes. HUGS! And SO glad Evan is growing so great!!! :-) Prayers for the bittersweet times!!!