I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Friday, September 18, 2009

The week of appointments is done! PHEW!!

So, this was a busy week! On Monday Evan had his Alvin Buckwold appointment with his physiotherapist and occupational therapist. They are really really pleased with his development (again this goes by corrected age, not birth age)! He is doing everything he should be doing, and doing it well! Tuesday Evan had his 6mth (3 1/2 mth corrected) appointment with my doctor. He got the all clear and is weighing 13lb 13ou!! While my Doc was checking Evan he started giggling away! He is SUPER ticklish, but he was TOTALLY enthralled with my doctor (she's awesome by the way!) So he's good for another 3 months with her. THEN yesterday was the big one...this NICU followup with one of his neonatologists, Dr. Wonko. Evan's weight, height and head circumferance are all in excellent ranges. So we are thrilled about that. We got a good report from his doctor!! Those are HUGE for me, because they always tend to remind that with guys this little things can creap up over time...but I'm not going down that path!! We are good. I did drill him on his view of the H1N1 vaccine. He told me that he had a long talk with the head pediatric infectious disease doctor at RUH who said he has read the studies and is confident that the vaccine has not been rushed and has gone through the same testings as the flu vaccine. They are recommending the vaccine for our little guy (and preemies, children) and say the risk of affects from the vaccine are less than the risk of them contracting the swine flu. Ugh...just another thing to worry about. And poor Evan will be subjected to yet ANOTHER needle! I hate that! Evan actually goes for his 6mth vaccinations on Tuesday. UGH!! My heart is already breaking!! Evan's Doc solidified reading that I had done that because Evan and Zac were born at 28wks they are missing ALL the immune-fighting antibodies that a mother passes from her placenta to baby within the 3rd trimester. So this is why Evan is so at risk, especially this first year. He ISN'T a typical baby who has some of those immune fighting abilities, so it is up to me (and Brett of course) to be Evan's health advocates and to keep him protected this coming cold/flu/RSV season. I'd be lying if I said I'm not worried about RSV...I'm TERRIFIED of it!!!! Prem's who contract RSV (which by the way is VERY easy for them to contract from people) can become SERIOUSLY ill with deep lung infections and ultimately can end up on a ventilator. I do NOT want that to be Evan's case. He was sooooooooooooo lucky to only have been on a ventilator for 3 days after he was born and that was HUGE! He is our gem, and we will do whatever we have to to keep him safe and healthy. The best thing for Evan this season is taking that first easy step of a 15-30 second handwash before holding him. Always clean hands with this little guy!! Before we left with Dr. Wonko he once again asked how we were doing with having just Evan home with us. How are we doing without Zac. I never know how to answer that question. It always makes my heart skip a bit and knocks some wind out of me. But what can I say...we are finding the absolute joy with Evan. We are so very in love with our little guy, and yes, we miss Zac like crazy...but I have to be my all for Evan. Milestones still hurt like crazy, and I often wonder how the boys would have been together. I picture them rolling around together and giggling together. But that is not my reality. Those are my dreams. My reality is Zac took care of his brother the best he could, and for whatever purpose and reason God had for taking him...he was always God's from the beginning. Both our boys, ANY baby is God's from the beginning. In a perfect world Zac would be here with us. But our world is not perfect. It doesn't mean that tears don't still fall every day and there are moments where I can't breathe from my sadness...but my love for Evan is beyond the moon. He makes me laugh, he makes me proud, he fills me with joy. And I am forever grateful for him. ANYHOW...we also discussed Evan possibly starting rice cereal when he hits the 4mth corrected age...but it's not a rush. They actually recommend waiting until 6mths corrected age, but like Dr. Wonko said "what's the worst that could happen...he spits it out and you try again a few weeks later!" After we saw Dr. Wonko we also saw Evan's pediatric dietician. She was thrilled with Evan's weight gain and stats too!! She also said ideally to wait until 6mths before the rice cereal, but we could definitely try if we want. She said that after he has established the rice cereal we could start to introduce the meats first before the veggies or fruit. The reason being the Iron content in meat is more beneficial to them. So in the next bit I better pull out my Magic Bullet and get ready to make some baby food!! How fun!!!! I have to be sure to record those moments!!!!!!! THEN after the dietician Evan had his hearing test of which he got great results. All is good with his ears! The poor kid was just DONE by this time!!!! This was all going on during his nap time for the third day in a row. He just wanted to sleep! But we made a stop at the NICU to see some of the nurses. A couple of our favorites were there, so that was AWESOME!! The nurse that walked us through the time of Zac's passing was first to see Evan and hold him. Then one of my sweetest nurses was there which I was SO happy for!!! There was one nurse at the end that saw us and said hello and then oddly asked "where's the rest of the troup?" I was SOOOO caught off guard and winded that I didn't know how to react!! I just said "what?" She must have gotten me mixed up with someone else because she KNEW that Zac had passed away...so why she asked that question I can only attribute to silliness. But I felt so stumped and sickened for the rest of the day. By the time we got home, poor Evan was just DONE!! I fed him and he went right to sleep. I actually had to wake him up by 10pm so he could have his second supplemented bottle and last feed for the night. He goes around 9 or so hours now between feeds during the night!!! He likes his sleep! When he is awake he busy busy busy, but you definitely know when he is tired. He is actually napping right now, and I really SHOULD be doing my laundry and ironing and having a shower so I'm ready for the rest of the day...but I just had to update after all Evan's appointments. I should go though. Lots to get done today, and can't ever seem to get things done well when Evan is awake! We are always too busy playing!


  1. Thanks for updating! I love reading about how well Evan is doing! And I remember feeling exactly like you when our Zach died! Praying for you lots! Love,

  2. My heart always warms every time I read your updates Heather. When I look at Evan now and remember just how much he and Zac fought for life and each other it takes my breath away. How much more so yours as their parents! Wonderful news on Evan's development and weight! Much love to you as always, and many prayers too for your aching heart.xxx

  3. Heather, I got here from the link in your siggy on PAI. I'm a brand-new mom to a preemie (she's 6 weeks corrected) and RSV terrifies me, too. She just started the Synagis yesterday. I haven't asked about the H1N1 vaccine, but I think she's too young for it anyhow. Her pediatrician is married to the head of our local health department, so I know she's super informed and would have brought it up. :D Anyhow, nice to "meet" ya and I'm going to sub to your blog!