"WHUT!? I didn't do anything!!"
"You're lying! I see it! And for once you can't pin this on me!!"
The proof is all over the floor! Oh my!
Well, if you can't beat 'em...join 'em!!
So this morning Evan and I ran a couple errands and then went to get our flu/H1N1 shots. Evan is far too familiar with the smell of the alcohol swab, and knew what was coming before it even came! He started to cry when he saw the nurse cleaning my arm with the swab and kept saying "no no no!" Then when it was his turn...he wanted OUT OF THERE! The tears happened, but quickly passed as I said "ok, lets go running!!" And off he went happy as could be to be free.
When Evan and I got home I was greeted with Bailey (our younger boxer) acting rather suspicious. And then I noticed Tag (our older boxer) hiding sheepishly with a rather "cakey" face and front legs!! I KNEW I had closed the pantry so I couldn't figure out what he had gotten in to, but then it hit me...and I burst out laughing. Brett had brought up a container with a few bags of quick cooking rolled oats and a few other odds and ends and had left it by our front door. I of course had forgotten to deal with the items. So right away I ran to the box and sure enough, a bag was missing.
I went up to the living room and just burst out laughing. There on the floor was a half eaten bag of Organic Quick Cooking Rolled Oats. And there plastered all over my dogs face was the evidence that HE was indeed the culprit!!!!
I used to always automatically "blame" Bailey for these indiscretions...but now the light is dawning who the true instigator has been!! This time he couldn't hide the evidence from me!
Evan saw the pile of oats and decided he may as well get in to the action too! He was whipping oats faster than I could vacume them up!
Honestly...if it weren't for days like this where my dogs and child make me laugh so much...I don't know if I'd ever make it through the sad times.
While Evan and I sat for the 15 minutes after our shots I noticed a guy who obviously had disabilities...and for some reason it just hit so hard. Those moments when I see others with valleys to live with, even though to them this is their life and they are making the most of every day...it also makes me think of my sweet Zac. It makes me miss him so much. Even though I know the doctors said that he would never walk, talk, eat or anything like that on his own IF he made it through his brain bleed and other issues...I just always find myself wondering "what if". Maybe that's the selfish mommy heart that wishes for another ending. Even if it meant with a life of hard work with Zac's disabilities.
I don't know. I guess it's not something one can "what if". The fact is...Zac is not here on this earth. The fact is...he will never struggle a day. The fact is...even though he lives a fuller life today than one I could have ever attempted to provide...my heart still aches.
And then I watched as Evan ran around laughing and saying "hello" to every person he saw. Blowing kisses to strangers. Watching how his sweet actions lit up peoples faces. He brings me to my knees in gratitude every day. Yet, I just always wonder...what will he think one day? What questions will he ask? How will I be able to answer them? How do I explain the decision we had to make?
But today, I revel in the love and laughter that Evan is to me. Every day I know I am blessed. Every day I know how precious life is. Every day I know how fast life can change...and I want to make the most of every day. I want Evan to always have good memories together with us. I want him to ALWAYS know how loved he is. And how proud we are of him. He is so precious. So special.
And when the day comes when he asks questions, or if he feels sad...I pray for the wisdom and the words to answer him, and to help him through.
But today, I will smile as we go picking up every rock off the ground, and watching the ducks and geese land in the water behind our house, and as Evan instantly perks up and says "choo choo" when he hears the train passing by...and when I watch the mischief spread all over his face as I try to interpret what is about to happen :)
Today I will surround myself by the love of those in my life. Today I will make the effort to be the friend I seek. Today I will not make the excuse that "life is just so busy"...because life is also so very short.
And today I will work a little harder at seeking God for His true comfort and constant presense in my life!
No comments:
Post a Comment