November 7, 2007...our first, and last picture of our identical peanuts whom we lovingly named Jack and Ethan. I had found this card for miscarriage, and bought it for myself a while after we lost our babies. Why doesn't any one make cards like this any more? There are cards for the loss of a pet...but not the loss of a baby through miscarriage. Sad.
Well, it is 3:38am and here I am at my computer. Evan just had a rough moment and I haven't been able to get back to sleep, so after watching a pretty crazy rain cloud off in the horizon for the past half hour, I decided to come and do a follow up to yesterdays post about my sweet Jack and Ethan...and to wish them publicly a Happy 2nd Birthday!
I pray that they are having the best birthday part ever with their little brother Zac and other siblings that we never got to know on this earth.
And I wanted to share the only picture I ever got of my sweet babies.
Oh how I remember that ultrasound day sooooo very clearly! First, my bladder was sooooooooooooo full that I was in tears...and then was told I don't actually HAVE to drink what the instructions say. Sorry, but no one told me that, and I follow instructions very carefully.
But as the tech did the ultrasound she kept going over and over things. They started with an external ultrasound and then did an internal to "verify what they were seeing".
The tech said she hardly ever saw this, so wanted to be sure it wasn't one baby just mirroring off a reflection.
Nope...two little ones, two precious heart beats beating away.
And this was to be the only picture I was to ever have of my sweet babes.
And I cherish it. It is actually in a frame...and only after Zac passed away did I place it next to Zac and Evan's pictures out in the open. I don't know why I had it tucked away for so long. Maybe so it didn't make any one uncomfortable? Maybe because I just didn't know the proper "miscarriage etiquette"? Maybe because I didn't want to face reality? I don't know.
But now their picture is proudly presented, and it does my heart good :)
HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET LITTLE PEANUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mommy loved you before I knew you...and will love you ever more until we meet again!