I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Saturday, May 2, 2009

We were sooooo close, and then...

OK, it has been a while. Now that Evan is demand feeding I am constantly running back and forth from the hospital and home when I am called by the nurses. I'm getting very tired, and looking forward to Evan being HOME! This week Evan had his second eye exam. Everything is great. But he was fully dialated, so he got these eye patches with a print of sunglasses on them. I will post a picture soon! It's too cute, but I felt so bad for the little guy!! THEN on Tuesday I stayed for rounds and found out that they expected Evan to be heading home WITHIN A WEEK OR SO!! I was all teary in front of the doctor, nurses and interns. They all laughed. I told one of the nurses the news and she said "DON'T say the word home!!! Without fail something always happens!" I figured, what more could possibly happen?!! And then yesterday morning happened! While Evan's nurse was checking his pulses she detected a HERNIA!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! The doctor agreed. And now instead of coming home this week Evan is facing his first ever surgery!! I can NOT believe my poor little guy already has to deal with this! BUT, apparently hernia's are VERY VERY common in preemies, especially boys. I guess it's a good thing it was caught instead of me coming home and having to deal with it later. This way he really will be coming home tip-top. I'm just seriously struggling with knowing my babe will be back on monitors, IV and most likely intubated for a day depending on how he does with the anesthetic. OH YA...Evan no longer has any wires connected, and he sleeps in an open basinet!! Yesterday was the big day for all of that. Just before rounds and the finding of the hernia. So other than his second set back and delay in coming home, Evan is doing GREAT! He is nursing and bottle feeding. I am a lucky one! My child will do both! Sweet!! Speaking of...it is getting to be that time, and Brett and I have to head to the hospital. I will update more. This afternoon we went to Toys R Us and bought a bunch more stuff we need...and there is still more! On a different note...Zac's grave plaque was installed yesterday. We went today to see it...and the tears and the pain was overwhelming. I couldn't believe I was looking at my son's grave plaque. I hate that he is gone. I miss him with every breath I have!


  1. (((((Heather)))) Praying for sweet Evan!

    And praying for you. I am sorry that you are missing Zac.

  2. Heather,
    I will be praying for Evan and that the hernia will be healed without surgery! That sounds horrible :-( Sending you many prayers and hugs! I am so sorry that Zac is not with you! I know that makes everything just that much more difficult! Praying for you as you grieve! I just paid for Isaac and Isaiah's headstone this week...it will be up soon and I do wonder how it will feel to see their names in stone. HUGS!
    Love in Him,

  3. Hi Heather
    I remember well the nurses telling me not to say the word home. And i wanted to tell you that my son Jesse had 4 surgeries before he came home, he even had his appendix out. those little guys recover from surgery usually very well and quickly. we are thinking of you

  4. Hi Heather,

    Yes. It does seem that the pre-discharge step back seems to happen to all preemies! Isaac caught a cold shortly before he was supposed to be discharged so we had to wait another week or two.

    I think the hernia surgery is very routine. I can imagine how hard it is to see him back on monitors, wires, etc. I was heartbroken when Isaac had to go back into the incubator when he caught the cold and he looked so sick and listless. Isaac had heart surgery about 2.5 months after he was born when he was 1.2 kg and even when he was that tiny, he bounced back very quickly. So I am praying Evan will recover very quickly and come home to you soon.

    All these emotions are so confusing. Having to cheer for Evan and trying to mourn the loss of Zac at the same time. Please take good care of yourself too. I actually had a very hard time after Isaac came home as I finally let my guard down and everything finally sunk in. I am praying for you, your DH and Evan.

    God bless,