I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Update on house...

OK, first of all...these are pictures I took with my phone last night after I got gas. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool!!!! Kay...I'm totally one of those people who would love to go storm chasing...but that's another story! I feel in love with these clouds, and I have NEVER seen clouds like this before!
Of course it had started to rain, and now today...it's snowing. Ugh!! BOOOOOOO.
Anyhow, on to the house.
We got a second offer last night. And it was from the original couple who had given the first offer. After a couple back and forths...we agreed to a selling price...and signed the papers.
It is still "open" until May 11th, and IF someone else were to come along and make an offer...we could potentially look at that and accept. However, I don't know if I really see that happening, and that's okay!
Ironically, the couple who bought our house have triplet daughters and one older daughter. Bizarre that our house that should have sheltered our two sets of twins will now shelter triplet little girls and their big sister.
I'm not sure how I feel about the sale. It's a good thing, obviously. But it's really strange for me because this was our very first home, and there are sooooooooooooo many memories here...good and hard.
I suppose this next thought can come only from the mind of a mommy who has lost a child, but...it feels like it's leaving all of Zac behind. I know...don't try to understand that concept. You won't be able to if you've never lost a child. BUT, to ME...this was the only home I ever had both of my sons with me. This was the only home that sheltered all my tears through our almost 10 years of infertility and many treatments and IVF. The happy moments of hearing we were pregnant...the sad moments of when we lost our first babies. The happy moments of once again hearing we were pregnant, and the agonizing, horrifying, heart crushing memory of waking and going to the washroom only to stand in a pool of amniotic fluid.
The joy of bringing Evan through our door to his home, but the agony of walking through that door without Zac.
There are so many fun, happy, joyful memories here...and just as enveloping are the tough, sad, life changing memories.
And even though Zac never entered this home OUTSIDE of me...it was indeed his home inside of me. And ultimately I know that it was ME that was his home...not this house. But it's this house that the memories are etched in to, as well as inside my mind and heart.
It will be a strange feeling to leave this house.
AND, like I whine about all the time...I will SERIOUSLY miss our neighborhood and the awesome acess to walk to 8th street and Starbucks and the grocery stores...and then the Farmers Market opens on Thursday!!!! And I won't be able to just walk there anymore!!! WAAAAAAA! Seriously...these are things that make me a bit sad.
Anyhow, it is a relief to have the house "sold", and to know we will be able to pay off some stuff which is always a nice feeling! And it's nice to be able to have a serious push to get a couple things done in the new house that I refuse to go to if they are not done! :)
A new chapter. That's life, hey?! Always a new chapter. It makes me wonder about the future. It makes me wonder about possibilities. It makes me wonder about the ups and downs that are in store for us. Hmmm, I almost can't allow myself to think about it.
Well, that's the update for the day. Hopefully no hiccup arrises in finalizing the sale! But for now I guess I better actually get more serious about packing things! There is a lot more we can take now that I have a date. The possession date on our sale agreement is June 5th or 6th. So I have a few weeks left in this one. Wow.
Off to make myself my morning cup of coffee!


  1. Those are some AMAZING pictures!!! Really, really amazing.

    And I am SO excited about the house. I can completely understand the thoughts about wanting to move on but leaving parts of you behind is so hard too...especially the parts you are leaving. I can totally understand that!!!
    Much love to you dear one...excited for the new things in your life!!

  2. Love the clouds. I just happened upon your blog site. I can not come up with the words to explain how it has made me feel in reading your story. I wish you happiness in your new home and all the rest of your life in everything you strive for. Little Evan is a blessing. God Bless you and your loving family.