I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27: 13-14

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mar 3'09 - Oh what a day!!!

Today was looooooong! Let me walk you through step by step...get ready...it's long winded! Hmmmm, aren't all my posts! hee hee hee. Well, the day started with me waking up at 4am as usual. I tried to go back to sleep to extend when I'd get my first of my second steroid shots. I now know that I get a second shot 24 hours after the first...so I TRIED not to wake up too early in case I could actually sleep a bit longer tomorrow morning. Well...I think I dozed off until about 4:45 and then just watched TV until 5:30 and thought OH HECK, forget it! So I buzzed for my nurse. One came in and asked if I was ok and I just said "I'm fine...but I'm ready for my shot!" She just started laughing and said "you are too cute!" My other nurse came in and she was laughing!! I told her I was actually up at 4am but decided to hold off. She just said "oh my dear...you could have buzzed!" They know how pumped I get for that shot knowing it is helping my boys even more!! So, we did the shot. My nurse is always impressed that I don't even flinch because it is a bit of a stinger...but I just don't care! So....that was a good start to an early morning. THEN Dr. D came in for rounds and said "how's my favorite early morning rising patient!" I think that I had the beginnings of Roid Rage (NO JOKE) because I was instantly annoyed with him! Then he said "I have to admit that I'm REALLY surprised that you are have made it this long and still hanging in! All this time is especially good for the baby whose membranes aren't ruptured." And there is was...the infamous just HAS to ruin a good thing!!!! I instantly switched off and got SOOOOO angry and wanted to just kick his butt! WHY does he have to say something like that. WHY did he have to discredit how amazing this time has been for my little fighter boy too!! He is still here, he is still fighting, he is still growing strong...so that comment just put me in to mama bear mode!! I was ready to attack!! I just shut down and didn't say anything further. And then I sat there reminding myself to brush it off...that MY OB would be the one to give me the real deal and she is the one that I rely on!! And in true wonderful Dr. Martel style...when she came in and how positive she was and happy about the steroid shots and my ultra sound that was scheduled for today...my heart started to feel a little less stomped on. She was really looking forward to seeing how much the boys have gained in the past two weeks. And that was it!!! No doom and gloom! No "Oh your poor twin...we just don't know". This is a truly classy OB. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo blessed to have her as my doctor, and she has been such an amazing angel and support to me. OK, on to next. THEN I had a nursing student come in and do my vitals. Turns out today is her first day. She had just been in my neighbors room (who is also expecting twins). OK, temperature and blood pressure no problem. I warned her that my boys don't particularly like the doppler and are infamous for dodging after a second or two. I showed her exactly where she would find little fighter boys heart rate and showed her a general area that our content boy tends to hang out at...but warned her that it's not always the case...he has been known to flip sides of move upwards. She decided to start with him thinking it would be easiest. Well...she searched and searched...and I kept telling her she was searching too low (by his HEAD) and to far to my side. So then she figured she'd go to fighter boy...and I pointed to exactly where she would find him...and she did. So she went back to content boy. She searched for about 20 minutes (I was not concerned at all because I knew she wasn't going in the right spots). I felt bad for her because she admitted she was nervous, and I was annoyed that my nurse would have just left her on her own with TWINS! And this nurse knows my boys can be escape artists and a run for their money some times. So the student went to find my nurse for help and couldn't find her, so came back and searched for about another 10 minutes and FINALLY got him! It was kinda funny...but again...the roid rage was occuring and I was slowly losing my patients. Anyhow, she left. I had my "breakfast" which is a JOKE for a pregnant twin mommy!!! But side note aside, lets carry on. I then went for my ultra sound. Another very annoying appointment. One of the OB residents is now on a month learning the ultra sounds and today was HER first day doing this. The radiologist left her on her own to do a "couple things"...I was laying there on my back for 1/2 an hour with the OB just basically playing around. Do they not realize how hard it is for a pregnant woman to be laying on her back for that long! Then the radiologist came in and took over. Well...my ultra sound was a good 45 minutes from start to finish. I was NOT happy! My poor back was in agony and she had to really REEF on a few areas to try to get measurements from fighter boy (because he is squished in there, so it made it a bit tricky, PLUS she was teaching the res as she went too! UGH!). At one point fighter boy was sleeping so he wasn't moving too much. NOW, because fighter boy has so little room due to fluid his movements don't get to be as spastic as his brothers. The lady had to use this insturment that sends a little vibration and annoying noice to the baby to try to get him to move...and he did...but they couldn't include the initial movement because it was a "caused" movement. So then she had me flip to my left side in a very uncomfortably contorted way. And THEN she got me to move to my back again and lowered the head portion of the bed in the MOST uncomfortable way. I could barely breathe!!!! FINALLY she got the movements she wanted. I had SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much gel on me it was DISGUSTING!!! By the time I was done it was down my pants and down my legs!!!! So I went for a shower instantly. Then shortly after that I went for my NST test. I don't mind those at all. At least I can relax. A couple small and short braxton hicks, but nothing major. The boys did wonderfully once again! My NST nurse said after "I wonder what his fluid level was today from last ultra sound!" So she let me look at the report (I love her for that because I was concerned). His fluid has dropped again...so my heart kind of dropped. The radiologist hadn't mentioned anything but said that someone would stop by to give me the full report. My mom had been here with me from about 8:30 am and I am SOOOOOOO thankful that she was. I just wouldn't have been able to get through today without her and her support!! So this whole day I just felt really disconnected, guarded, and even angry. Lets just say at lunch time my mom and I looked at what I was served and I was so annoyed that I threw one of the vegetables (dry gross celery) at the wall. I was just annoyed by the disgusting food they serve us!! So we went up to the 5th floor cafeteria for lunch when my dad arrived. It was just a really long, emotional day. And then to wait to hear the results of my ultra sound was agonizing. But I was more than thrilled to hear that Dr. Martel had come back to the hospital and would be stopping in to go over things with me!!!!! PHEW!!!!!!! I'm soooooooo glad to have heard from her, because tomorrow morning all I'll say to Dr. D is that Dr. Martel was in and told me everything and is more than happy where things are at...so therefore I am happy and don't want to hear anything more about it!! HA HA on him!! So the good news of the report... Fighter boy is 2lb 1ou now...he has gained 6ou in the past 2 weeks. AND she said that that is the minimum he weighs...because it was trickier to get some of his measurements he could be a bit more. BUT she said that him being smaller is to be expected and she is really not concerned because he IS gaining. I mentioned I knew that his fluid level had dropped and she said "yes, it's lower, but that can change from minute to minute...so really, I'm not terribly concerned about his fluid level either!! You could move your arm and it would allow the pockets of fluid to change and look larger too...so it's not an exact science." I was SOOOOOO relieved to hear that, and so thrilled to hear how positive and happy she was with things!!! She feels like we are really in a good place!! Content boy is now 2lbs 9ou...he has gained 9ou in 2 weeks. Again, she was thrilled! So bottom line...the report was positive and the outlook remains good!! Finally the roid rage symptoms seemed to lessen and I felt my guard and disconnectedness slowly melting away. It really was a tough day emotionally...and physically. But God has once again carried us through and has proven His love and support to us. Honestly...I could never get through a day of this without Him. I'm once again blown away and humbled to receive another good report and another good day with our boys growing strong. I am continually humbled and grateful for the continuous prayers from friends and family...for the strength they have provided to us. Thank you all!! Well, to end the day with some cheesy humor I am watching the 2nd special of the Bachelor Finale. Good grief!!!! But it has given some much needed relief. Brett was at the Blades game tonight, so my dad brought Vern's pizza for us to share (the LIGHT ones...I can't stand the regular!) since Brett got to have a night out. And now Brett is on his way for a visit. He gave me a surprise visit this afternoon...and that meant the world to me!! But I always look forward to the evening visit! Can't sleep if I don't see him (well...don't really sleep anyhow, but it's better having been able to have spent some time with him!). Well...that's my update for the day. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41: 10 "God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding." Job 37:5

1 comment:

  1. After all of that, I would have tossed the celery too!!

    Glad to hear that your boys are hanging in there and growing too!!!

    Still praying.