Thursday, March 5, 2009
Thur, Mar 5 - Another miracle milestone!
Well here we are at 28 weeks!!! Tomorrow being 5 weeks since being admitted. 5 weeks of wondering if we'd ever make it to this point and if our boys would hang in. And here we are...witnessing a miracle that we never thought. I've questioned miracles for a long time. Wondered if they really still existed and why it seemed so hard to see them. You hear stories of miracles in others lives and wonder will you ever witness one in your own. I've seen miracles in others lives. No matter what...how can I dismiss miracles now?! I'm carrying two of them. I admit that in my weak moments I begin to feel bits of wonder and fear...I guess that's normal. With every day and week that passes we are that much closer to delivering these little ones and then yes, a whole other world of wonder and nerves will (and are) enter in to our minds and lives. We know whom we are to rely on...God has provided in ways our human minds never thought imaginable...so He will provide when these little angels enter our lives and we see them for the first time. I still pray diligently that their delivery will bring about new and wonderful miracles to us as parents and to our medical team. I know that my heart prays for more time safely carrying these little ones, but I also know that when God knows these little ones are to appear He will let us know. And then the human part of me gets nervous...what to expect, and how will that sign appear. The human part of me is nervous about heading in to delivery with these little ones...in a variety of ways. So in the mean time I'm praying for peace of mind and just to continue to trust that the outcome will be a positive one. I'm grateful that we got to this point to be able to do the second and final round of steroid shots. We know that this will help the boys all the more. I'm looking forward to hearing their little heart beats again today. I guess the one upside to being here...I get to hear them 3 times a day. And it's the best sound ever. Yesterday I had gone home for a while later in the day. It is so nice to get home and to hang out...but man oh man was I tired by the time I got back to the hospital. It was an early night...and it was nice to just lay in bed. Even though it wasn't my own. I've become an early riser...between 4-5am. This morning I was up by 5:15am and no luck of getting back to sleep. It's okay though...practicing for nights/mornings to come when these little ones can finally come home with us. Well, please continue to pray for the safety of these precious little boys...and for mine during the c-section whenever that will happen. For a speedy recovery for all three of us and that the boys will shock the socks off us all! Please pray that I will feel peace of mind and the most unbelievable sense of calm. For those of you who know me well...we know that I am a worrier. And I just don't want that to be the focus of my emotions. Pray for Brett and I as we prepare for the next portion of our journey. That we will just really have the strength and wisdom for the bumps that MAY appear. It has been a long road for us...and I couldn't want to walk it with anyone other than Brett. The constant strength in my life. I am truly blessed by this man in my life, and will never take all that he is for granted. I am a very lucky and blessed person and so grateful that God knew we'd be the right fit for each other! He has been so strong with carrying on with his business, keeping up with our home, bouncing back and forth from here and home, and continually giving me the support and love and encouragement that he knows I need. He is amazingly awesome!! Well, I'm going to sign off for a while and hopefully drift off to sleep for a bit. I continue to thank you all for your support and prayers through this journey. I pray that we will one day soon be announcing wonderful news that is laced with more positive news than bumpy news. I'm sure there will be a lag in my communication after delivery...so know that I will update as soon as I have the strength and time!