Sun Feb 22

Well I'm having a much better mental morning than I was yesterday :) I had a great time at home yesterday. I curled up in my own bed with my dogs and slept for 2 hours!! But even then I was uncomfortable. This ever growing belly is making sleep less and less comfortable. But I'll take it!! Before Brett and I went home though...I made him take me to Grainfields! I haven't been there in almost 4 weeks and was going through withdrawal! Mmmmmm, was so good to have food NOT from the hospital "menu". While at home I just totally relaxed and stayed in bed. It was great!! But when I had to get ready to leave OH MY...my dogs started to pout big time! They went to their pillows in the living room and just flopped down and wouldn't lift their heads up! :( That is the saddest thing ever! They sure know how to pull the ol' heart strings! If I'm this much of a sucker with my dogs, can you imagine what I'll be like with my boys!! hee hee hee. I already know the second Brett and I see them they'll have us wrapped around their itty bitty teeny finger!! Those little fingers will hold so much power!! And I'm starting to get excited to see those little fingers and toes! Dr. M came in this morning to see how I'm doing, and she said we will start doing daily NST tests...heart rate tests on the boys to watch for any changes or signals of distress. Their daily routine heart rate checks are always right on target, but this one will do print outs to record changes. She said it will kinda stink for me because it takes time...but hey...time is all I have in this hospital!! And I'd rather listen to my boys heart beats anyhow!! I'm more than happy that we are doing this. It will bring peace of mind to me too!! I'm going to go out on a pass again today! And I think there will be another Grainfields trip!! Not that I've informed Brett yet, but we'll meet my parents for a late lunch. Seriously...this is the only way I'm really going to be able to normally nourish myself! I have to get out of this place to do that!! Thank goodness for the meals that have been coming in by Brett and my parents!! Hospital food and amount they give sure don't offer much for a growing pregnant woman!! What are they thinking?! On our way back to the hospital last night we stopped by the movie store to get me a TV series. On recommendation of my friend I was going to get the Big Love series, but they only had the last 2 discs in of the first season so I'll have to try again. So I resorted to the only series they had that I know will make me laugh...Will and Grace! I love that show! And much to the shaking of Brett's head when he hears this...Jaws was on TV this morning so of COURSE I HAD to watch it...AGAIN!!! OK, I love the Jaws series! They are so cheezy, but remind me of funny things as a kid. I even BOUGHT Jaws 1, 2 and 3...but STILL have to watch it when it's on TV!! Lets just say, I've seen it quite a few times! When I got back to my room I was surprised by colorful balloons and the sofest teddy bear! Thank You Auntie Mayreen and Uncle Tom!!!!! That was AWESOME!!!!! I admit, I kept the bear in bed with me last night! And the balloons have added fun cheer and color to the extremely drab room of mine! I can't believe that almost all the days of February have been crossed off!! I look at the calendar pinned on the wall and see all our X's...and it fills me with such joy!!! Such a humbled attitude towards God's graciousness. He has granted us MUCH needed critical days...and I'm blown away at how things have been going. Even in the down days like yesterday...maybe sometimes those are needed to remind us how much we need to rely on Him not only in those bad days, but the good days too! Sometimes the good days allow a moment of slack attitude towards how much He has provided. The days with dips in them allow us to remember to cling to Him good and bad! I still don't know how this is all going to end...but I know what I'm praying for...and I know that whatever the outcome, God will not have failed us. He has brought us through the darkest, grimmest days since arriving here...and I'm sure there will be a few more of those...but He some how provides us the strength and courage we need to make it through. I never would have wished this...I never would have dreamed that this would have all happened...but now that it has, I can only ask that God will use each day for His glory and to prove that in good and bad...He loves us. He does not create the bad...but He will use it to show Himself to us. And He is. "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24